Hello, hello welcome to part three of our mental gym series! So far we have covered Intimidation and Fear in the gym. Today we are going to cover comparing ourselves to others. I’d actually like to start this installment with a song from bae, aka J. Cole.
“there’s no such thing as a life that’s better than yours.” – J. Cole
When you’re new to the gym (or even if you’re not) it’s very easy to feel like everyone else is ahead of you or stronger than you or maybe even weaker than you. It’s human nature to measure ourselves against our peers but that doesn’t mean that we should do it.
I think there are 3 types of comparisons (in terms of comparing ourselves to others, remember I’m not a psychologist lol): healthy “comparison” (more like an acknowledgement of success), a positive unhealthy comparison, and a negative unhealthy comparison
A healthy “comparison” would sound something like this:
Wow, she lost a lot of weight in a few months, I’ve stayed the same, I wonder if she has any tips
An unhealthy positive comparison would sound something like this:
Wow, I’ve lost a lot of weight in a few months and she’s stayed the same, hahahaa
An unhealthy negative comparison would sound something like this:
Wow, she lost a lot of weight in a few months, I’ve stayed the same, I might as well give up
Do you see the difference?
Having goals will motivate you to do better
An unhealthy positive comparison puts other people down in order to pull yourself up
An unhealthy negative comparison is when you put yourself down
We’re going to focus on the negative comparisons today.
So Why Is Comparing Ourselves Unhealthy?
– It’s Demotivating: Constantly comparing yourself to another person will only demotivate you and belittle the progress you have made. Your journey is not my journey and my journey is not the next woman’s journey. In order to continue your journey, you have to appreciate that it is uniquely yours and yours alone. There are sooo many factors that go into results/progress. Even if you and your friend started at the same time, it doesn’t mean you will progress the same. Don’t believe me?
There are more factors that I didn’t even mention but, hopefully, you get the point. We’re all different and everything affects us differently! That girl who just started coming to the gym might have been on her swim team, she is already strong! Her start is not your start!
– It’s Unrealistic: Especially if you’re chasing someone else’s body type. There’s a chance you will never look like X because you’re Y. You are you and while you can change what you look like, you cannot exactly replicate someone else’s body. Love yours!
– It Turns Us Into Haters: When you can’t appreciate someone else’s progress, you become a hater…
– It Makes Us Insecure: …and then you become insecure. This is because you’re constantly measuring yourself with an unattainable ruler. You can never be someone else.
– It Hinders Your Progress: If you’re constantly watching what Sally does instead of doing what you need to do, you will never see results! If you believe that you can never lose weight, then you won’t because you’ll self-sabotage every time you get close. Don’t let someone else’s progress define yours.
What to do, what to do
- Pray for help overcoming your insecurities and for help to achieve your goals
- Create goals and a game plan to achieve those goals
- When you find yourself putting yourself down, find 3 things that you like and appreciate about yourself. See yourself how God sees you.
- Ask for help, if you love the way So and So looks, appreciate them and ask them for their routine. There’s nothing wrong with learning from others.
- Remember that each individual’s journey is different
- You’re doing this for you, not for them
- Be proud of your journey and results
And above all
You are valuable because God loves you. So love yourself, you were handmade by the Most High.